Monday, July 6, 2015

Boston Red Sox: Monster Dog

The age-old rivalry between the Red Sox and Yankees is well known. Although, typically it involves the game of baseball. It seems it also carries over into the hot dog realm; as in who has the most measly specialty hot dog.

These teams are powerhouses in market size, history and fanbase. One would think it would be a no-brainer that at least one of the teams would offer up a specialty dog worthy of calling either Yankee Stadium or Fenway Park home. Red Sox fans will tell you, and rightly so, that if you want a good hot dog eat one on the street near Fenway before going into the park. If some guy pushing a hot dog cart can figure out how to make a great hot dog why can’t the multi-billion dollar Red Sox franchise?  The Sox have a specialty dog called the “Monster Dog.” It gets its name from the Big Green Monster. For you baseball rubes that is the very tall green wall in left field. The dog is basically a large Kayem frank on a regular bun. Yawn.

Appeal-linking the Big Green Monster to the hot dog name was clever. But like many of the Red Sox batters this year, it doesn’t live up to the hype. 3

Ingredients-the saving grace of this dog is that it is served on a normal, toasted bun and not that strange, soggy New England style bun that every hot dog lover hates. The only condiment readily available is mustard. The rest of the paltry selection is in those damn packets. 2

Uniqueness-see picture. I met the monster, and it didn’t frighten me. 2

Monstrosity Factor-sure, the frank is bigger than the regular Fenway Frank, but the rest of Major League Baseball (except maybe the Yankees) and most of Minor League Baseball is laughing. 2

Value-shockingly, I did not have to sell a kidney to purchase this dog. But it was no bargain either. 3.5

Overall Taste-it was actually pretty good at first. But after half
of it I got tired of meat and bun with only mustard to top it off. 3
Fenway. What a great ballpark. But the Fenway Frank, and its “monster” variant is a huge fail. It did win a prize though...last place in the specialty hot dog standings.

While they fail in the dog world, the Red Sox did excel in one thing: customer service. A nice young man at the fan services booth near gate D helped me hunt down the Monster Dog and took me on top of the Green Monster to ensure I got the right one. Give that guy a raise. Just don’t give him a Fenway Frank. Boston….call me. We can fix this.

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