The 2015 Hot Dog Express blasts off out of the Tulsa Spaceport (also known as my garage) on Thursday for an overnight drive to the Mile High City (that's Denver for those of you that went to school with me) to watch the Colorado Rockies....maybe.
You know how they used to scrub the space shuttle launches just before liftoff due to some weird malfunction? That may happen to my first stop in Denver. It seems my arrival and targeted game coincides with the Rockies opening day. Bad planning on my part. The only other opening day I had ever been to was the 1989 San Diego Padres when they played at Jack Murphy Stadium. That ballpark had the third largest parking lot of any sports venue and the cars still had to park in the grass up the road a bit. In short, opening day is hugely popular and tickets are hard to come by. In fact, while I have tickets for the following games in Oakland, San Francisco and Seattle, I have only found tickets for the Rockies home opener for $100 each on Stubhub...and that is in the nosebleeds.
Even Somali pirates don't charge that kind of ransom of an oil tanker. Unless some of you have connections to two tickets (I am taking my assistant/Girl Friday) I will be at the mercy of those that practice a ritual once attributed to the wild west and perpetrated on settlers that involved a tomahawk and a close haircut.
If anyone does have tickets I will trade them for an autographed copy of my book, which will, in a decade or two, be worth millions. It's an investment risk worth taking. And I will mention you in the sequel book "Doggone Good." Rich AND famous, what more could you ask for.
Speaking of my book (you are buying my book aren't you?) it should be out in about 2 more weeks. It's worth the wait.
Oh, if you are actually at the Rockies game on Friday and see a despondent fan looking in through the gate, toss me a hot dog will you?