Thursday, June 5, 2014

Minnesota Twins

For years a Twins game has escaped me. It has always been just too damn far to Minneapolis. I missed seeing a game in the Metrodome, which many people would say that is nothing to lament. Now that I have finally made it, I think I have a new favorite stadium….at least so far. Target Field is a real gem.

First, yet another disclaimer. I shop at Target. Why? Because I am too good to shop at Wal-Mart with THOSE people. But that of course didn’t skew my opinion of the place. I am not sure how they pulled it off but the Twins have managed to build an ultra modern ballpark with an old-time baseball vibe. Think retro meets mid-century modern and you have an idea of the design. If Mr. Spacely would have tasked George Jetson to design a ballpark it would look like Target Field. Smoothed, aerodynamic lines on many of the subtle features, several glass prows, and markings that have that early 1960’s “this is what the future will look like” flair. There is an old neon rimmed Twins logo sign as a salute to the past that helps merge past and present. The main concourse is mostly open to the field, the upper decks jutt over the field level seats and there are several really cool private party areas. Which I could not afford to enter because….well….I really do shop at Target. Speaking of finances, it is only the astronomical ticket prices that keep the Twins ballpark from being the top pick to date. While the park is cool retro-modern, ticket prices are most definitely 21st century...and then some.

Bun-while not steamed it was very fresh and soft, and it had sesame seeds on it. I knew I was getting something special for that $21 dollar GA ticket.
Taste- the Schweigert frank rivals Hebrew National in taste. A real winner of a wiener.
Toppings- I was offered kraut and onions before it was handed to me. And there are the standard toppings a la carte.
Price- the Twin Dog could have gotten top score at even $5.50 because it sports a ¼ pound frank and it can be loaded up with toppings. But you can only purchase it as a package that comes with a bag of chips at $6.50. Note to twins-offer the dog alone for five bucks.
Portability-large cardboard boat.
It factor-there are several other brat selections. It’s a pretty good variety but not enough to rate top score.

Location-right downtown. The skyline butts up against the stadium.
Access-all options available. The light rail has a stop AT the ballpark.
Cleanliness-so clean the five second rule for food applies.
GA Ticket Price-I really wanted Target Field to excel. But at $21 for the cheapest seat it will never hit the top of the heap. There were plenty of empty seats. A section could easily be dedicated to seats for $10 or less. Did I mention the Rockies ALWAYS have some $4 seats?
Fans-decent crowd, really rooted for the Twins and were super friendly.
Ambiance-Harmon Killebrew would be proud of the Twins new digs. It appeals to both the young and old and is a really great venue.

DogBallparkTotal Dog/Game
Portability5GA Ticket Price1
It Factor4Fans5

Target Field suffers from the same Achilles heel as a few other great ballparks. Over the top scores on most factors, and then they try to price you out from being able to enjoy it. Wrigley has the same issue. It’s a baseball game… not a Beatles concert. Price accordingly. The Twins will host the 2014 All-Star Game and they deserve it with that ballpark. And Minneapolis is a nice the summer.  So sell your grandmother into slavery and use the money for some decent seats at a Twins game. Sure, Grammy will suffer...but you get to see the Twins at Target Field. She would understand.

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