Thursday, September 3, 2015

Monsters of the Major Leagues: Specialty Hot Dog Smackdown Winner

After logging nearly 23,000 miles behind the wheel, countless gym showers and nights sleeping in my car...and a few extra pounds...I have the information you have been waiting for. You may have noticed that I have been absent a few weeks. It had nothing to do with my move to New Mexico, it had everything to do with getting time allotted on NASA’s supercomputers to crunch the numbers of all of the data I accumulated. And now, on par with the moon landing, I can tell you without a doubt which Major League Baseball team has the best specialty hot dog. In fact, I am pretty certain this information will help mankind more than all of that gravel we brought back from the moon.

If you have been following my blog, you probably already know the answer. I have also included a chart for those that cannot read and Giants fans. If you know baseball and processed meat, you should find it no surprise that the team with the best specialty dog in the MLB is: THE MILWAUKEE BREWERS.

Milwaukee is the the encased meat capital of the world. Plus, if you have ever been to Miller Park you have seen the fans tailgating in the parking lot. No serious Brewer fan would ever show up to the ballpark without Milwaukee’s version of a holy shrine: the grill. Fans grill their own franks, sausages, kielbasa, and the occasional burger while waiting in anticipation for the gates to the Brew Crew show to open. If anyone knows hot dogs, it’s Brewers fans. And if you want to make fans that are experts in what a great dog should taste like you had better offer up something big and fabulous. That is exactly what the Brewers concessions team has done. The Down Wisconsin Avenue Dog now reigns supreme as the dog to down in baseball. It was the only entry to get a perfect score. They were able to pull it off by offering a ginormous dog made with quality toppings at a great price. It all comes together in Milwaukee, the baseball hot dog center of the universe. Congratulations Brewers fans.

The surprises. Well, you might be surprised but not me. Two of the most storied franchises in baseball history, the Red Sox and the Yankees, end up on the bottom of the scale. The Red Sox in particular need hot dog help. I’m available.

Also, I have to mention two minor league teams that rival the majors: The Lehigh Valley IronPigs and the Akron Rubber Ducks. The two-foot meat bomb the IronPigs offer would crush most MLB entries. And the slaughterhouse on a bun called the Three Dog Night in Akron is a unique three-meat dog that makes any meat lover's knees weak. Well done.

So what is in the future for your Hot Dog Explorer? Firstly, lots of hiking and running to work off my newly acquired hot dog gut. It was actually the sedentary nature of eat, drive, sit at game, sleep, drive, repeat that caused that. FYI I can still see my shoes. Then there is the Arizona Fall League to explore now that I live in the southwest. Plus, as promised, I will be posting some of the non-baseball Hot Dog Hot Spots I visited on my trip. Lastly, I am working on the sequel to “Gone to the Dogs” that will chronicle my trip this summer entitled “Doggone Good.” You are buying my book aren’t you?

No comments:

Post a Comment