Sunday, August 31, 2014

It Ain't Over Yet

It’s that time of year again when worlds collide.

I am from West Virginia, where college football fans are pretty darn adamant about what they will be doing on Saturday afternoon. I have also lived in Texas, where NCAA football is the state obsession. Now I live in Oklahoma where the sport can best be described as a sickness. I love sports as well, but I am not going to schedule my weekend around kickoff times. First pitch maybe.

The problem with college and NFL pre-season football is this….IT IS STILL BASEBALL SEASON! In fact one could argue this is the most interesting time of the hardball season, where pennant races are heating up. Bowl games are still 3 months away. Baseball gets the same treatment in September that Thanksgiving gets in November. People are so overwhelmed by the bombardment of Christmas advertising and hype that Turkey Day is nearly forgotten. Well, respect the Turkey….and respect the horsehide.

I have heard football fans argue that baseball is too long and too boring. Well, it’s not. That is why they call it a thinking person’s game. In fact, the average baseball game is about 10 minutes SHORTER than the average NFL games. AND if you break down the action there are several more minutes of play per 3 hour average game in baseball than football. So don’t give me that too long and too boring crap. Here is a breakdown of NFL action for you:

No to worry though, your intrepid Hot Dog Explorer has a detox plan for you that allows you to enjoy both sports. It’s a 6 step program.
Step 1: Pick either NFL pre-season or NCAA football as your poison of choice for September.
Step 2: On the Saturday or Sunday that you have football free (based on your choice) go to the ballpark (if one is near you) or catch a baseball game on TV.
Step 3: Pick up a pack of Hebrew National franks at your local supermarket.
Step 4: On days you can’t get to a baseball park, grill the HN franks for you and your friends/buds/family. Place on bun with mustard, relish and consume. Extra points if you have the baseball game on the radio WHILE your grill.
Step 5: During the baseball postseason devote 80% of your sports mind to baseball, 20% to football. You can do it.
Step 6: Remember that while hot dogs taste best at the baseball park, they aren’t too bad at the football game either.

And for the love of God, don’t put your Christmas tree up until AFTER December 1. Give the world a break. Lastly, don’t forget that packs of Hebrew National franks make lovely Christmas gifts. Now you know what to get me. Well, that and a pony.

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