Friday, June 13, 2014

The Dog Goes Green

Hippies and hipster….they love baseball too. And as a semi-homeless man I am often mistaken for a hipster. I am not. It’s just that I need a shower now and again and have slept in my clothes (I’m working on growing the full beard in the heat of summer). But many of those dudes don’t eat meat (for some reason I cannot fathom). And if they do, they shun processed meat. They cite the nitrates, how much of our precious resources are allocated to the production of meat blah, blah, blah. Personally, I don’t care if future generations have no clean water...I want my damn hot dog.

But as a humanitarian, I cannot bring myself to deny those who can’t bare to bite the dog the experience of enjoying one in the stands while cheering on the boys of summer. That is why I braved all things unholy and tested the both vaunted and feared veggie dog at ONEOK Field.
Veggie dogs can allow hipsters and vegetarians alike to partake in the quintessential American ritual of downing a dog at the park...guilt free.

Inspecting the Veggie Dog
The Things I do for Science
I met up with the Tulsa Drillers’ Executive Chef Cody Malone, on Friday the 13th no less, to have him explain the mystery of the veggie dog. Cody is a big guy, and one that takes feeding fans seriously. And fans on all sides of the meat issue. You know from my last blog that Tulsa dogs rate high, but did you know that ONEOK Field also rates on the top of another list? People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) compiles a list of the top 10 vegetarian-friendly ballparks in both the Major and Minor Leagues. Guess who topped out on the Minor League side? Yup...the Tulsa Drillers’ own ONEOK field. Living in Tulsa and knowing first hand it carnivorous nature I was both surprised and impressed. Those that shun the flesh shall not go for the want of good eats at ONEOK Field.

My dog would rate just as I rated it on my last blog. The only thing different was the frank. Which was served piping hot...after a long wait. Cody explained this is due to the fact that so few are sold they are cooked on demand. The taste wasn’t bad. It was missing that salty, fatty, grease dripping, nitrate popping smack that only a conglomeration of congealed leftover animal parts can give me...but I survived. Actually, while not as satisfying it did the job as well as a meat substitute can.

The bottom line is it rates well enough to recommend to someone that, for some reason I can’t grasp, chooses to go meatless. Maybe I’ll have one on Earth Day.

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