Texas Rangers: The Boomstick

It’s the end of the road amigos. I made it to whatever they are calling the ballpark the Texas Rangers play in these days to down my 30th specialty dog. As of now, I have tested and digested the top dog offered at EVERY major league ballpark; and nearly 30 minor league parks as well.

I end my quest tackling the hot dog legends are made of. It is like hunting lizards and komodo dragons and then coming face-to-face with Godzilla. It is the colossus of colonary conundrums: the Boomstick. This is the dog that lit the baseball hot dog world on fire and prompted so many other MLB ballparks to offers a ginormous dose of heartburn on a bun. I have waited years to sample it, and on this day, I went toe to toe with the Boomstick.

It starts with a two-foot long, all-beef Nolan Ryan (yes, that Nolan Ryan) frank. It is one meat torpedo that looks daunting even on the grill. It sits on a potato bun and topped with chili, nacho cheese, jalapenos and caramelized onions. It clocks in at THREE POUNDS. There are dogs that weigh less.

Appeal-eating this hot dog is like seeing Tony Bennett in Concert. Even you are not a fan of his music, he is such a legend you feel compelled to hear him sing. 5

Ingredients-Nolan Ryan makes mighty fine beef, and I love the potato bun. All top of the line toppings. 5

Uniqueness-not the solo giant dog in the majors any longer, but it is the dog that started the trend. 5

Monstrosity Factory-it broke my monstrosity meter. 5

Value-it might seem pricey at $26, but it should feed four fans easily. 5

Overall Taste-nearly perfect, but I think it was the chili that was a little off putting. Close to top score. 4.5

APPEAL	5
INGREDIENTS	5
UNIQUENESS	5
MONSTROSITY FACTOR	5
VALUE	5
OVERALL TASTE	4.5
TOTAL	29.5

My hungry helpers

With an overall score of 29.5 it lands solidly in sole possession of second place. I, of course, could not eat the entire thing. I found two hungry Rangers fans to help me, and then I still had to chuck about 20% of it in the trash. This is the one time I do not feel ashamed of not being able to down the entire dog.

The Rangers have a great ballpark, and combine it with a historic Boomstick hot dog and you have one Texas-sized adventure. My advice: take a friend, a hungry friend.

Now that my adventure has ended, and I can declare a winner (watch for that in a future blog), I feel a little lost. No ungodly distance to drive overnight in order to get to a ballpark by game time. No adoring fans to sign autographs for. Just about eight pounds of hot dog gut to lose. Ugh. Oh, and to get to work on my next book: “Doggone Good.” You are buying my next book aren’t you?