Chicago White Sox: Paul Konerko Dog

The tale of two cities. Or at least two ballparks, and how diverse they can be as far as fan burden. If you remember I lamented about blowing $25 for a standing room only ticket at Target Field in Minnesota. In Chicago, I braved threatening skies for a $7 ticket in the cheap seats. Huge difference. While the Twins were sold out, the White Sox had me and about six other fans in the ballpark. Then there is the dog difference. The specialty dog in Minneapolis was $12 and way over the top. In contrast the biggest dog at US Cellular Field was $14 and you can see how it scored below (hint: not as well as the Twins’ offering).

Then there was the rain. Never leave until the game is cancelled, that is what I always tell myself. There was about a 30 minute delay for the start due to the rain, in which I killed time explaining the rules of baseball to German tourists in German (yeah, I am a Hot Dog Explorer of many talents). After 2 innings it started pouring again and the tarp came out. I figured they would call it and I would get a head start on my journey to Detroit. I had already devoured the specialty dog anyway. So I scooted out of there. My reward? The game eventually resumed and I missed White Sox pitcher Chris Sale strike out 14 batters in 8 innings. Damn. Never leave until they cancel the game.

The big dog in the park is the Paul Konerko Dog. It is named after team’s former slugger that helped propel them to a World Series Championship in 2005. It is a 14-inch monster that looks daunting. I was up for the challenge.

Appeal-dogs named after players are interesting because they never want to do a former ballplayer the injustice of naming a lame dog after him. I knew it would be an exciting dog. 4

Ingredients-besides the 14-incher you get grilled onions and sauerkraut. I expected something more exotic for the Konerko. 3.5

Uniqueness-while large, it is essentially just a really big hot dog. 3

Monstrosity Factor-size alone carries the score here. While it does not look sexy, it does look big. Kinda like Lurch on the Addams Family. 4

Value-two people could make a meal of it, if they didn’t tire of the lack of unique toppings. 4

Overall Taste-the first twenty percent was a pleasure. But the Vienna Beef frank wore on me and I became tired of it. Plus is was slightly watery which caused the bun to get a bit soggy on the bottom. The ingredients did not play together well enough to entice one person to down the whole dog. 3.5

APPEAL	4
INGREDIENTS	3.5
UNIQUENESS	3
MONSTROSITY FACTOR	4
VALUE	4
OVERALL TASTE	3.5
TOTAL	22

In the end I only ate about 80% of the Paul Konerko Dog. While not a bad dog I went the extra mile to finish the Twins’ Brat Dog even though I was full because it was so dang delicious. Not so with the PK Dog. My advice would be to only get it if you can split it (poetry is another one of my many talents).