Asheville Tourists

You probably have batted around the idea of visiting the Smoky Mountains sometime in your life. And if you haven’t made it there yet, you should. It is a stunningly beautiful place and Asheville is the centerpiece of all of that Smoky goodness. It’s a hip city nestled into the hills that also has...a baseball team. The Tourists are part of the single A South Atlantic League and play in a very unique ballpark. McCormick Field is tucked into a niche carved into the hillside. The fit is so snug that the forest butts directly up against the outfield wall. The constraints of placing a ballpark into such tight confines means the right field wall is much closer to home plate than most venues. The Tourists have remedied this by constructing the “big blue monster” (my words) by making the right field wall very tall. Sort of like the Boston Red Sox have done in left field.

Besides having a spiffy ballpark Asheville had some of the friendliest fans and staff I have run into. Being from Appalachia myself I wasn’t surprised, but it is always nice to meet nice folks. The hot dog selection was quite varied for a lower minor league level. And it was the first ballpark I have been to where I was offered coleslaw as a condiment. Previously it was only available on specialty dogs, and not many of those. In case you are a hot dog rube, coleslaw on a hot dog is an Appalachian/Carolina thing. Try it, it’s good.

Dog:

Bun-nice and fresh.

Taste-the Patuxent Farms franks did a good job of pleasing my finicky taste buds.

Toppings-the regulars, but also the small tub of coleslaw given at the counter and the same treatment for the onions. It keeps waste of food to a minimum.

Price-$3.50 is near perfect for that size dog, but not quite.

Portability-the dreaded paper boat. Wrapper is the way to go. Those boats really serve no purpose except to frustrate eaters.

It Factor-I was impressed by the selection for such a small venue.

Ballpark:

Location-not exactly downtown Asheville, but on the fringes of downtown.

Access-it could be walkable, definitely bikeable, parking is sparse but can be had for nothing on the street.

GA Ticket Price-it is such a small park all seats are really good. Therefore, even though $8 isn’t a fabulous deal, it gets a boost from the fact it buys a great seat.

Cleanliness-nice and clean.

Fans-I was dubious near game time, it was pretty thin. By the second inning there was a nice sized crowd that was interested in the outcome.

Ambiance-Truly a baseball lovers park. The quirkiness of the right field wall, the location, the nearness to the field, the fans, the covered grandstand...it all comes together for top score.

If you ever saw the movie “Bull Durham,” Asheville is the team Crash Davis joins at the end to hit his last home run. Unfortunately, they tore down that ballpark just after the movie was made, but Asheville still embraces its place in baseball movie lore. There is even a “Crash’s Kitchen” concession stand.

Dog		Ballpark		Total Dog/Game
Bun	5	Location	4.5
Taste	5	Access	4.5
Toppings	5	Cleanliness	5
Price	4.5	Ambiance	5
Portability	3	GA Ticket Price	4
It Factor	5	Fans	5
	27.5		28	55.5

If you are planning a baseball road trip, the Carolinas is a great place to knock out a lot of games in a short period of time. And Asheville is not to be missed. While I am probably the worst at visiting the teams’ host cities, you have to make time to visit Asheville when taking in a Tourists game.

The Friendly Hot Dog Crew

Cincinnati Reds

I hate naming ballparks after corporate entities. Something too impersonal about it, and then the ballpark ends up changing names every few years. Hate it. But if you are a team and can choose your ballpark’s sponsor, then the Cincinnati Reds won the lottery. Great American Insurance bought the naming rights to their stadium. Meaning that the Reds play in...that’s right...The Great American Ballpark. Sort of like the great American novel, which I will be writing soon.

The Lighting Towers 

The GAB, which it will be known as for the rest of this blog, are pretty cool digs. While I really enjoy the parks that followed the retro craze started by Baltimore, I respect those teams that bucked the trend and built something unique that still captures the essence of baseball. The Reds have constructed a complex of sorts with their team museum and ticket office semi-attached. The iron girders are white, and there is a mixture of red brick, stone slabs and other building materials that one would think is a hodge podge style but one that ends up working well for the GAB. Situated on the northern bank of the Ohio River, the stadium pays tribute to Cincinnati’s connection with the waterway with a paddle wheel steamboat styled centerfield deck complete with twin smokestacks that belch fire when the Reds pitchers strike out opposing batters. I suppose it does the same thing when the team belts a homer, but the Reds are suffering a power outage so I didn’t get to observe that during their 1-0 loss to Milwaukee. But the most impressive thing about the ballpark is the lighting. I don’t usually get excited about lighting towers but the ones at the GAB are tall, skinny, white spires that look like they are from the future, but only they are in use now….sort of like dippin’ dots.

While there I was fortunate enough to be able to interview the ballpark’s Executive Chef James Major. James runs a tight ship at GAB and puts out some fine eats. In addition to sampling the regular dog he allowed me to try a Cincinnati original; the Skyline Chili Dog. You will only find the Skyline Dog at GAB and is the top seller. It is served as two mini hot dogs smothered in thin Skyline brand chili and topped off with a mound of shredded cheese. I love specialties that are connected to the local community and the Skyline Dog helps out of town fans sample the local fare. Jame’s crew also offers the Hot Met which is a smokie on a bun and a variety delicious grub to satisfy even the most finicky fan. Getting his start as a cook in the Navy, James is the story of a sailor made good. While mine is the story of a sailor gone to the dogs.

Dog:

Bun-really fresh.

Chef James Major and the Skyline Chili Dog

Taste-I personally was not a great fan of the Kahn’s frank. But this is why I like speaking with the folks that run the hot dog show. I would have rated it lower for my personal taste, but as James Major explained, the Kahn’s is an Ohio made frank and the taste that the locals like and expect. His explanation helps me rate the frank more accurately.

Toppings-I was offered grilled kraut or onions and pepper when I got my dog. Both make an excellent topping. And they offer two types of mustard.

Price-$4.75 isn’t the best price for a hot dog, but it still rates highly due to the toppings that can turn an ordinary dog into a meal.

Portability-the paper wrapper is the way to go. It keeps it all on the bun without squishing it, allows you to pick it up if dropped and is recyclable.

It Factory-I had actually heard of the Skyline Chili Dog before rolling into Cincinnati. It has a reputation and that earns top score.

Ballpark:

Location-downtown Cincy and on the river.

Access-easy to walk to and lots of affordable parking. Surprisingly easy to get out if parking near the stadium.

GA Ticket Price-money rears its ugly head and keeps GAB from earning a perfect ballpark score. $15 for a nosebleeder is simply too much.

Cleanliness-neat as a pin.

Fans-nearly full ballpark and fans that were engaged from first to last pitch. Regardless of how crappy the Reds played.

Ambiance-I like GAB. I like its look even though it is not super aesthetically pleasing….if that makes sense. But it does have a great baseball feel and that is what ambiance is all about.

Dog		Ballpark		Total Dog/Game
Bun	5	Location	5
Taste	4.5	Access	5
Toppings	5	Cleanliness	5
Price	4.5	Ambiance	5
Portability	5	GA Ticket Price	4
It Factor	5	Fans	5
	29		29	58

In short, Great American Ballpark is a must-see venue for baseball fans. Price, for both dog and ticket were the major things keeping it from getting a perfect baseball/hot dog experience score. Even then, those factors are not so off the chart that it would deter you from having a great time in Cincy. I typically advocate getting the run of the mill dog, but you would end up kicking yourself, as well as being haunted by the ghost of Sparky Anderson, if you did not gobble up the Skyline Chili Dog. They cost only slightly more than the regular dog and it slides down your throat as smoothly as Joe Morgan into second base after slapping a double.

**The book about this trip "Gone to the Dogs" is now more than 10% funded! Take a look a the kickstarter video and decide it you want to be part of baseball and culinary history by bringing "Gone to the Dogs" to print!**
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/859640299/gone-to-the-dogs-book-about-the-search-for-the-bes?ref=email

Off Day: Flying Dogs

Happy Fourth of July! We can all be proud to live in a nation that is so closely related with the food so closely related to baseball: the hot dog. Those of you that survive your foolish dabbling with the explosives marketed as “fireworks,” or at least have enough fingers left of operate your computer can read my review of a local Appalachian hot dog establishment.

I am spending the holiday in my hometown of Jane Lew, WV visiting my family. Before you start in with the WV jokes, know that we hillbillies take hot dogs seriously. Last year the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council (like them on Facebook, they post cool hot dog stuff) held a bracket playoff similar to the college basketball “March Madness” system to find out who had the best regional hot dog. It pitted the best against the best. The Chicago Dog, The Coney, The Carolina Dog...they were all represented. Know who came out on top? The West Virginia Dog...that’s right…pure Appalachian goodness on a bun. What’s on a WV Dog? Check out the NHSC’s website to see. And stop with the jokes….I have heard all of them, trust me.

Jane Lew, a stone’s throw from there General Stonewall Jackson grew up (no, we did not go to school together), hosts one of the more quaint and delicious hot dog spots in the state. Flying Dogs serves up hundreds of tasty, circular treats a day using their signature WV style chili on most. Housed in an old small car dealership building the establishment has changed names at least once but still puts out some of the best dogs in the state. My dad and I picked up a litter of dogs to haul back to the old homestead to devour. We made quick work of it.

So don’t knock the Mountain State. If you love hot dogs make it your next vacation spot. Oh, yeah...there’s that stunning scenery, bluegrass music, moonshine, mountain arts and crafts, hand-crafted glass, whitewater rafting and other spectacular things to do to work off those hot dog. And all those jokes people make about us…..they’re mostly true.

Frederick Keys

Oh say can you see...this hot dog disappear down my gullet as I wolf down the tasty treat at Harry Grove Stadium in Frederick, Maryland; home of the Frederick Keys. In case you didn’t know...here’s the history lesson. Frederick is the hometown of Francis Scott Key. Hence the name Keys. If you don’t know who he is, get the hell out of my country. Or at least pay attention in school.

Francis would be proud of the dog served up in the ballpark his namesake team calls home. I didn’t have to sell my car to afford one and it was pretty tasty. It suffers in the point system due to portability and price compared to other similar venues but it slid over my discriminating palate just fine. The ballpark itself is a very typical Single A venue. Low slung, semi-circular, built mainly of textured block with a small press box, suite area. The unique feature in Harry Grove is the overly tall outfield wall that is plastered with enough ads to generate more revenue than the GDP of a small pacific island nation. By the third inning I still had not read all of them. I did however, nearly get an entire section to myself. Not because I am such a hot dog celebrity...although I am...but due to the low turnout.

Dog:

Bun-nice and fresh.

Taste-the Esskay frank was slightly salty and slightly fatty...in other words it was darn delicious.

Toppings-very nice selection for a small ballpark.

Price-while $4 won’t break you, I have seen cheaper at MLB parks and a lot cheaper at other minor league stadiums.

Portability-the cardboard boat is better than the paper boat, but not much. A paper wrapper would do better.

It Factor-there is the “Keyote Dog” named after the mascot. It is a mammoth crab meat, mac and cheese dog. Great start, but the park needs a few more of these types of offerings for top score.

Ballpark:

Location-not that close to downtown. Sort of in a smallish neighborhood. Quiet too. It is directly across the street from a large cemetery.

Access-as far as I could tell it is a drive-to only park. There is free parking however.

GA Ticket Price-$9 is kinda steep for the cheapest ticket in a Single A park. The seat was excellent though.

Cleanliness-pretty clean, but there was a bit of trash here and there.

Fans-we should have all car pooled. A 15-passenger van would have sufficed.

Ambiance-despite its lack of amenities or special history or architecture, Harry Grove has something. It’s a baseball park, albeit a barebones one, and  you can feel it.

Dog		Ballpark		Total Dog/Game
Bun	5	Location	4
Taste	5	Access	3.5
Toppings	4.5	Cleanliness	4.5
Price	3.5	Ambiance	4
Portability	3	GA Ticket Price	4
It Factor	4	Fans	2
	25		22	47

I had tried to see a Keys game at least twice before but was foiled by their schedule. While the ballpark sort of blends into my memory of many other Single A parks, I do recommend it. It would be a nice accompaniment to an Orioles game since they are close and Frederick is a farm team of theirs. If you need an escape from the madness of Washington DC (and who doesn’t), a keys game is a short drive away and well worth your time.

The Intrepid Hot Dog Crew

Harrisburg Senators

I am spending the summer on the island. Well, an island in the Susquehanna River. Not THAT island in the Susquehanna (if you are old enough to remember Three Mile Island. If not, do that Millennial thing and google it), but City Island. Home of the Senators. I heard there was a baseball game there so I showed up, mainly expecting there to be a lot of heated discussion, some finger pointing and nothing really getting done. Then I realized that the  Harrisburg Senators are professional baseball players and not actual politicians. Ba da dum.

City Island is sort of an entertainment retreat situated in the middle of the river and connected to the city of Harrisburg via a long foot bridge. You can also drive to it and take a boat ride, play softball, run, and other sorts of fun things. It is also the location of Metro Bank Park, home of the Eastern League’s Harrisburg Senators. Even better, the Senators were hosting the team with possibly the coolest name in baseball: the Richmond Flying Squirrels. Tuesday night was perfect for a game, it was very warm, humid, little wind and the smell of hot dogs wafting through the air.

Metro Bank Park is basically a newer park built on the foundation of the old ballpark. Some remnants of the former stadium remain, but for all practical purposes is it less than 10 years old. Harrisburg did a good job of supplying some hardball digs capable of withstanding the wrath of the Susquehanna when it decides to sweep over the island (it does flood). The park is constructed of a lot of custom block and siding for some of the outside. The main grandstand is covered and the other seats all offer a splendid view of the action. Most of the main concourse is open air and has a composite wood deck. While it is not the fanciest of parks, Metro Bank Park has a distinct aura of baseball. You simply cannot manufacture that.

Dog:

Bun-fresh, just like I like ‘em.

Taste-the Kessler’s frank wasn’t awful, it just had no taste. Very bland.

Toppings-a tad sparse but having two types of mustard boost the score. And extra kudos for providing a local mustard.

Price-$2.50 is a deal. Get two.

Portability-the worst option, the viled paper boat. Those flimsy things are more aggravating than helpful.

It Factor-the regular dog only has two versions. But there is a hot dog stand called Spot’s in the ballpark. It used to be an old restaurant in downtown Harrisburg but after it closed the family resurrected the hot dog joint in the ballpark. They offer up some really creative and yummy specialty dogs and help rake in top score. Yeah…..I had one of those too.

Ballpark:

Location-the footbridge connects downtown to the park. It really is a cool stroll.

Access-walk from downtown, drive.

GA Ticket Price-$10 for the cheapest seat could be better. It is always nice to offer a super cheap seat to draw in fans (like me) who are on limited incomes. But that said, that $10 gets you a really good seat.

Cleanliness-I give the park a little latitude since it has been flooded several times. They did an excellent job of cleaning it up and enough to rate top score.

Fans-I have seen more people at a bar mitzvah. I had an entire section to myself.

Ambiance-Harrisburg does a great job of making you feel like you are at the ballgame. A decent baseball vibe courses though the stadium and the Mayflies give it a personalized touch that only they can provide (trust me, one of those bugs WILL end up in your mouth).

Dog		Ballpark		Total Dog/Game
Bun	5	Location	5
Taste	3	Access	5
Toppings	4	Cleanliness	5
Price	5	Ambiance	5
Portability	2	GA Ticket Price	5
It Factor	5	Fans	2
	24		27	51

The lack of fans hit the Senators hard and kept the ballpark portion of the rating from getting a perfect score. A paper wrapper and new frank supplier would  really boost the hot dog’s rating (I can give you Hebrew National’s number). A few adjustments and the Senator’s will be among the best ballparks to bite a dog.

Mayflies...they don't taste too bad.

Did I mention that the ballpark is in the middle of a giant river? In case you have never been in the east; summer plus river plus humid weather equals lots and lots and lots of bugs. The Mayfly is the unofficial mascot of the Senators. About mid-game they make their appearance by the tens of thousands. I couldn’t calculate the biomass per cubic foot in the air but trust me, it was significant. And I was told it wasn’t a bad night for bugs. All I could think is there must be some really fat fish in that river. It makes a Senators game…..unique. So grab your glove and a gallon of DEET and head to Metro Bank Park to down a Spot Dog and take in of of Pennsylvania’s finest diamonds.


**The book about this trip "Gone to the Dogs" is now more than 10% funded! Take a look a the kickstarter video and decide it you want to be part of baseball and culinary history by bringing "Gone to the Dogs" to print!**
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/859640299/gone-to-the-dogs-book-about-the-search-for-the-bes?ref=email

Boston Red Sox

Few places are more iconic than Fenway Park. It is THE oldest baseball stadium in the United States. It is one of those parks that is part of the city it calls home. It is built into the neighborhood in which it is situated and is as much of a tourist attraction as it is a baseball venue. If you find yourself in Boston and only time for one thing to do, see  Red Sox game at Fenway. It is about as good as it is going to get for a baseball fan.

But not so much for a hot dog explorer in search for the perfect baseball/hot dog experience. While Fenway scores well, just like Wrigley I was surprised at how factors can drag the score down. As far as ambiance it is a “wicked pissah” (thanks Karen for the translation), but as the crime families say, “if you wanna taste, you gotta pay.” And I forked over $30 for the privilege to sit in a seat with an obstructed view. Not the $45 for the standing room only I paid in St Louis (no, St Louis, I have not forgotten) but that is kinda steep to see any team. Even if the visiting Cubs did come within an inning of tossing a no-hitter.

The ballpark itself is an absolute purist’s dream. Made of red brick and pale green steel girders it sports a double decker grandstand. The upper deck is supported by tall I-beams jutting out of the lower grandstand (and the cause of my obstructed view). Some of the seats are the old wooden type and there is the famous “Green Monster” left field wall. It has on old-style out of town scoreboard and if you took out the light towers you would feel like you were at a game in 1912...well, you’d have to take out the jumbotron as well, and the LCD TV monitors, but you get the picture. Things seem to go really great for this park until about the third inning. That’s when you get up from your seat to get a dog.

Dog:

Bun-what the hell is it with this New England style bun? It looks like a slice of Wonder bread curled around a wiener. FYI the crust is crucial in keeping the bun from mashing when you hold it. I know, it’s a tradition...one we could do without. But I am a sucker for old school so I still give it a 4.5.

Taste-the Kayem frank was really the only good thing about the dog. They could have just put it on a stick and I would have been happy.

Toppings-mustard, and both dispensers were faulty. At least it was brown mustard. And the relish was IN PACKETS. This is the MLB Boston….lose the packets. And get some condiments on the table.

Price-considering it was Boston I was floored that the dog was only $5. They must cut cost by cutting the toppings.

Portability-a thin paper wrapper and a cardboard box. Not efficient or green but it does a good job.

It Factor-despite its shortcomings the Fenway Frank is famous. Famous gets people to eat you and earns points.

Ballpark:

Location-a fixture of the city of Boston.

Access-many modes to get to the park. And very walkable.

GA Ticket Price-for $30 I want the usher to give me a 20 minute foot rub. He didn’t.

Cleanliness-hard to keep a stadium that is over 100 years old in tip top shape, but it’s decent.

Fans-sold out and very into the game. Top score.

Ambiance-It’s Fenway, need you ask?

Dog		Ballpark		Total Dog/Game
Bun	4.5	Location	5
Taste	4.5	Access	5
Toppings	2	Cleanliness	4
Price	5	Ambiance	5
Portability	5	GA Ticket Price	2
It Factor	3.5	Fans	5
	24.5		26	50.5

In short, it is one of the best places you can watch the game of baseball. I have been to Fenway for three games, and each one was special….for more than one reason. You hear me speak of a ballpark’s “vibe”, Fenway’s vibe is measured on the Richter Scale. What I would recommend is buy one of the savory sausages on the street just outside the park before coming in. Those are real encased meaty goodness; on a real bun. I’d leave the Fenway Franks to the tourists.