Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Sausage Greetings

The holidays are upon us. It’s Christmas actually. Here at the Blog About a Dog you can actually say Christmas. Just please don’t mention it until the Thanksgiving turkey has been served.

So….what to get the hot dog lover in your life? Just as I can give advice on which hot dogs are tasty, I can help you find the perfect gift for that person who loves to chow down on the most American food available. Here are my top 5 hot dog related 
gifts for 2015:

5. A hot wheels like replica of the Weinermobile. EVERY hot dog lover secretly wants to drive the Wienermobile. I would personally like to try and parallel park the thing. Now, your loved one can push it along the carpet to their hearts content.

4. Hot Dog underwear. Only you will know about the wieners under your trousers. Plus, chicks dig them. I have a pair, trust me on this.

3. Hot Dog Christmas ornament. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, looks more fashionable than a hot dog hanging on your tannenbaum.

2. Also on my wish list is the hot dog toaster. It warms your weiner and toast the bun AT THE SAME TIME. Who said American ingenuity was dead?

  1. The number one item you should get your hot dog loving friend/lover/coworker/boss/cousin this year? A copy of the timeless literary favorite Gone to the Dogs: In Search of the Best Ballpark Hot Dog. Sure, it’s a shameless plug, but reading this book will make you smarter and more attractive. It is guaranteed to get you promoted at work and laid. It's available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and via TomLohrbooks.com

As baseball fans we got to open one of our gifts early this year as the baseball winter meetings were a flurry of interesting hot stove activity. Hopefully your real gifts will be just at interesting. It has already snowed three times here in northern New Mexico, but we at the blog are already dreaming not of a white Christmas, but a green spring with new grass on the field.


Tuesday, December 8, 2015

I Used to Work for the Government, I'm Here to Help

If there was ever a league in need of hot dog help it is the Arizona Fall League. If you read my previous posts you know that the meat menu is, let’s say, lackluster. Fans expect more and deserve better, and ballclubs deserve to turn a modest profit as pushers of processed meat. There is a happy medium.

Some fans really don’t care what they stuff in their mouth, as long as it is a hot dog and a beer to keep the national pastime American. Others hit the ballpark hoping to find something unusual to make their visit to that stadium unique. The AFL teams can do both. I propose offering a regular hot dog menu as they do now, and a limited selection of specialty dogs that can be linked to the home team. The clubs already have the mundane dog thing under control. But by doing some simple math they can figure out how many specialty dogs to have available during any given game. Baseball lives for metrics you know. The data would be easy to compile. Just get a set amount of ingredients ready each day and put the dog on the menu. When they are gone, they are gone.

Pulling from my previous posts, here are my hot dog recommendations for each team:

Peoria Javelinas
The Javelina Little Pig
  1. Hebrew National frank.
  2. pulled pork topping
  3. salsa
  4. OPTIONAL: jalapenos

Scottsdale Scorpions
Scorpion Dog
  1. Hebrew National frank
  2. grilled red peppers
  3. sriracha sauce
  4. OPTIONAL: crushed red pepper

Mesa Solar Sox
Sun Burst Dog
  1. soft bun brushed with cornmeal
  2. Hebrew National frank
  3. man n cheese topping
  4. crushed red pepper

Glendale Desert Dogs
Coyote Dog
  1. Hebrew National frank
  2. pico de gallo
  3. shredded pepper jack cheese

Salt River Rafters
Salt River Sausage
  1. potato bun
  2. Klement’s 1 pound mild Italian sausage
  3. spicy brown mustard
  4. sauerkraut
  5. OPTIONAL: grilled onions

Surprise Saguaros
Cactus Dog
  1. unsteamed bun
  2. Hebrew National frank
  3. sweet relish
  4. grilled green peppers
  5. three small dollops of saguaro cactus jelly

There you have it. Six awesome entrees on a bun. Each worthy of a least a bucket of fan drool. Considering that the AFL is the only place in the nation you can catch baseball that time of year, it falls on the league to carry the specialty hot dog torch. Baseball is always good, but it is always better with a delicious dog in hand.